Matt's Christmas Bash: Curse of the Egg Nog
by RAWR.iHeart.SwantonflyinVipers
Summary: Christmas one-shot! This is a Secret Santa present, hope you like it! You know who you are.


_**What up? This is my first one-shot on here guys! I hope you guys like it, especially you Victoria! This is YOUR Secret Santa Present. I hope you like it, Merry Christmas to you and everyone else!**_

_**-Alia Jaenel xoxo**_

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* * *

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"Oh, I just love Christmas parties!" Shawn exclaimed as he walked into Matt's house in his best Christmas sweater. "Especially Christmas sweater parties."

Matt rolled his eyes as he closed the door behind Shawn, "Shawn, this isn't a Christmas sweater party."

"It's not?" The Icon asked in disappointment.

"No." Matt said as he walked away.

Shawn stood there, almost on the verge of tears. "But I like Christmas sweater parties."

"Hey Shawn, how's it goin'?" Hunter asked as he slapped his tag team partner on the back.

"This isn't a Christmas party." Shawn frowned.

"Really? Because you told me it was." Hunter said in confusion as he looked down at his grey sweater with brown and red reindeers.

"Matt just said it wasn't."

"How dare he change the theme without telling us?" Hunter asked outraged.

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "Hunter, what are you yelling about?" she asked, annoyed that her husband had interrupted her conversation with Torrie and Tiffany.

"Matt changed the party theme on us!" Hunter tried to explain.

"IT WAS NEVER A CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY, YOU DUMBASSES!" Matt yelled from the other room.

"Aww…" Hunter and Shawn whined.

Stephanie rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to the Boise Belle and the GM of ECW.

Shawn turned around and saw a table full of food and drinks. "Whoa! When'd that get here?" Shawn asked.

"I don't know…Matt's table is magic!" Hunter exclaimed in amazement.

"Really?"

"No, I just love getting your hopes up for nothing." Hunter said with a chuckle before shooting Shawn a cheesy grin.

"You're so me-Ooh egg nog!" Shawn exclaimed.

"Where?" Jeff asked as he ran busted through Matt's door with Melina in tow.

"Jeff, calm down. There's probably enough for everyone." Melina stated, slightly out of breathe from running. "Jeff, do you have sonic hearing or something?"

"It's do you have '_bionic' _hearing, Mel." Eve corrected as she and Matt walked into the room with all of the commotion.

"Whatever, leave me alone!" Melina yelled as she blushed in embarrassment.

Eve chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'm just messin' with you." Eve said as she hugged her Latina friend.

"Whatever, you're still mean." Melina muttered. She looked around, "Where are the boys?"

"Over there." Eve said, pointing towards the table where Shawn, Hunter, Jeff, Matt, and now John Cena, and Christian, who had just arrived.

"Oh no, do you think it'll be like last year?" Maria asked, terror filling her words as she walked up to the two divas.

"I don't know, but you two better be up for a crazy night." Eve said before handing Melina and Maria a glass of wine. "Drink up, you're gonna need it."

* * *

"Stephanie!" Hunter called.

"What do you want now, Hunter?" Stephanie asked as she massaged her temples. A lot has happened so far, she couldn't even count the time Shawn, and Hunter had said her name in one hour.

"Can I get a pony for Christmas?" Hunter asked, after chugging 5 cups of eggnog, his words were slurring.

"Gay!" Christian yelled from the other room.

Hunter chose to ignore him, "Can I? Please?"

"No." Stephanie answered.

"Why not?" Hunter whined.

"Because you're not gonna take care of it." The Billion Dollar Princess said.

"Yes I w-"

"No you won't."

"Yes I-"

"No you won't."

"So? I want one." Hunter said defeated.

"No." Stephanie concluded before leaving the room to talk to Melina.

Hunter pouted, "Aww."

"What's wrong Hunter?" Nikki asked, appearing on one side of The Game.

"Yeah Hunter, you seem down. What's wrong?" Brie asked, laying her hand on his other shoulder.

Hunter looked at the twins before sighing, "Stephanie won't get me a pony."

"Oh no." The Bella Twins frowned.

"Yeah…will you two give me a pony?" Hunter asked with hope in his words. He really wanted the pony! Ha-ha, no he didn't, the alcohol did.

"No," Brie started.

"But we have a dolphin at home you can have." Nikki finished.

"Ew…dolphins are stupid!" Hunter exclaimed as Shawn walked past the three.

Shawn froze in shock before turning to Hunter. "You take that back!" Shawn yelled, pointing at The King of Kings.

"No! They're icky and stupid! Ponies are SO much better." Hunter exclaimed.

The two members of DX bickered as the Bella Twins looked at each other in disbelief. "You think we should go?" Nikki asked.

"Yeah, before they start throwing things again." Brie said before grabbing Nikki's arm and pulling her out of the chaos that was about to occur.

"Dolphins!"

"Ponies!"

"Dolphins!"

"Ponies!"

Shawn threw a pillow at Hunter's head. "Dolphins!"

Hunter threw a brownie at Shawn's sweater. "Ponies!"

Shawn looked down at his now ruined sweater." Oh no you didn't." Shawn said with sass.

"Oh yes I di-id." Hunter said, mocking Shawn.

Seconds later, Christmas treats were flying around the dining room. Brownies plastered on the wall, wine poured on the table, cookies in both of their hair. It was crazy. In the middle of their food fight, Evan and Kelly walked in.

"Look Kelly! The artwork on the walls are so pretty!" Evan exclaimed in amazement. He and Kelly touch the walls, "They're so lifelike!"

"Oh I know!" Kelly said as she licked the chocolate on the walls.

Matt walked into the dining room. "What the hell are you two doing?" Matt yelled in anger.

Shawn and Hunter turned to Matt, "Which are better, Ponies or Dolphins?"

"Neither, now go do something that doesn't destroy my house!" Matt exclaimed. "This is the reason why I don't like letting you two into my house!"

Everyone in the room ignored Matt's last comment, "Come on Shawn, let's go make cookies!" Hunter said.

"Okay." Shawn said before skipping towards the kitchen, with Hunter walking behind him.

Matt shook his head before leaving the room, cursing Hunter and Shawn under his breath. Evan and Kelly looked at each other, "What just happened?" Kelly asked.

"I don't know, but I really want some cashews." Evan said; Kelly rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Melly, Melly, Melly, Mel!" Jeff sang as he ran around the living room. "Melly, Melly, Melly, Mel! Oh how I love my Melly Mel!"

Melina rolled her eyes as she sipped on her red wine. "Jeff stop! This has been going on for a half an hour now. I know you love me but shut the hell up!"

Jeff ignored her, "Look Melly! I'm Superman!" Jeff exclaimed as he posed as the superhero on the table.

Melina shook her head before turning to Stephanie, who was sitting next her. "See what I put with?"

"Hon, I know how you feel." Stephanie chuckled a bit, "You should see Hunter when he's totally wasted."

"WEE!" Jeff exclaimed as he jumped off the table, thinking he could fly. But that backfired when he landed right on his face. "Oof!"

"Nice going jackass!" Hunter yelled from the kitchen after seeing Jeff's fail.

"Ow…leave me alone Hunter!" Jeff pouted.

Melina frowned, "Oh Jeffers," Melina cooed as she put her glass on the coffee table before walking over to her fallen lover. "You need to be more careful."

"I'm sorry." Jeff apologized before pointing to his forehead, "Kiss?"

Melina chuckled before kissing Jeff's forehead, as requested. "Better?"

Jeff grinned and nodded before running off again.

"Jeff! Don't hurt yourself again!" Melina yelled as she watched him run into the kitchen, where Hunter and Shawn were.

Of course, he ignored her, and tripped over his own two feet, landing on his face again. "Ow."

The Paparazzi Princess slapped herself in the forehead before sitting back down next to the Billion Dollar Princess, and downing the rest of her wine. "I need a shot."

"Did someone say shot?" Shane Helms yelled from the kitchen.

"Shut up Gregory!" Melina yelled back as Stephanie laughed at her.

* * *

"Dave, again, why are you wearing that suit?" Candice asked as she and her husband walked to the front door. "We're late because of you."

"Oh calm down Candice, I just wanted to entertain the kids." Dave tried to explain as he knocked on the door.

"Dave, you being Frosty the Snowman will not help ANYONE! This is an adult party, honey." Candice sighed.

"Really? Are you lying to me?" The Animal asked for reassurance.

The Candy-Coated Diva growled under her breathe as the Eldest Hardy answered the door.

"Hey g-what the hell?" Matt asked in confusion.

"Please don't ask; I need a drink. Hi Matt." Candice said as she walked past him, but not before kissing his cheek.

"Hey man." Dave said from under the headpiece of his costume.

"Why the hell are you dressed as a snowman?" Matt asked with an arched eyebrow.

"I wanted to entertain the children."

"Who the hell has kids out of all of us?" Matt asked in disbelief.

"Uh…I didn't even think about that…" Dave trailed. "Thank goodness Candice brought me an extra change of clo-"

"AHHHHH!" Someone screamed from behind Matt.

Matt turned around to see a mortified Shawn and a terrified Evan.

"Shawn! Kill it!" Evan whined as he pointed at the snowman.

"No, you kill it!" Shawn shot back.

"We'll kill it together!" Evan suggested.

"Okay!" Shawn exclaimed as he and Evan ran up to Dave with a mission to murder.

"No guys! No, it's me, Dav-AHHHH!" Dave yelled as the Showstopper and Mister Airbourne tackled him.

Matt rolled his eyes before walking out of the front room, ignoring Dave's pleas and screams. Matt walked into the living room, where he seen Candice talking to the Bellas with a glass of wine in her hands. "Candi, you're husband's getting his ass kicked."

"Oh no. Quick, somebody help him." Candice said unenthusiastically. No one answered, or stood up, "Oh well, I tried."

* * *

"Hey Christian?" Jeff said as he tapped the Canadian on the shoulder.

He turned around, "Yeah?"

"A-are you a Yoshi?" Jeff asked in pure excitement, his tiger-green eyes glowing as he waited for an answer.

Christian looked at him in astonishment, "Yes Jeffrey, I'm a green fucking dinosaur." He answered sarcastically.

Jeff didn't notice the sarcasm, "C-can I ride you?"

Christian growled. Just as he found the urge to lung out and attack the Enigma, Matt stumbled into the room, drunkenly of course.

"Edge! Get the hell out of my house!" Matt slurred.

Everyone looked around, in search for the Rated R Superstar, "Adam's not here." Tiffany pointed out.

"Y-yes he is. He's right t-t-there." Matt exclaimed as he pointed at Christian.

Kelly gasped in shock, "You're Edge?"

Captain Charisma slapped his forehead, "No I'm not Kelly." He said softly.

"Yes you are! You're Canadian! Now get out of my house!" Matt yelled as he aimlessly threw a vase.

Christian gulped, "Gotta run!" Christian started running around the house, with Matt chasing him.

The members of DX, the Bellas, Kelly, Evan, a Battered Dave, Candice, Melina, Tiffany, John Cena, Maria, and Jeff watched as the two ran around.

"Ooh! This is like Tom and Jerry!" Kelly pointed out.

Evan and Jeff gasped as they realized it as well, "I know!" they exclaimed simultaneously.

A few minutes later, Christian ran into the room, panting and gasping for air.

"Someone didn't work on their cardio." Maria teased.

Christian glared at her before turning back to the group, "I lost him, I finally lost Jimmy Legs." He sighed.

Just seconds later, Matt started sneaking up on him.

"Oh, uh, Yoshi?" Jeff said, trying to get Christian attention.

"I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!"

"But you said you were." Jeff pouted.

"It's called sarcasm!"

"What's that taste like?"

"Damn it Jeff!" Christian exclaimed before Matt tackled him to the ground from behind.

Everyone watched as the two SmackDown superstars fought. "So…does anyone want cookies?" Hunter asked.

"Me! Me! Me!" Shawn, Jeff, and Evan exclaimed at the same time.

* * *

After ten cookies and two more cups of eggnog, Jeff started going crazy! He bounced around, he started yelling, and breaking glass.

"The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round! ' Round and 'round! 'Round and 'round! The wheels on the bus go 'round and round, all through the town!" Jeff sang repeatedly, yelling each time he repeated.

"Jeffrey Nero Hardy! Will you shut the fuck up?" Matt yelled, startling everyone in the room, and making Jeff fall on his face.

"Nice job, jackass." Christian said, rolling his eyes.

"Ow…what'd you do that for, Matty?" Jeff whined.

Matt gave him a disgusted look, "Don't call me Matty." Eve chuckled as she stroked Matt's hair after he laid his head down onto her lap.

Jeff gave him a pout, "Why n-" Jeff paused when Right said Fred's _'I'm too Sexy' _came on." Ooh! I love this song!" Jeff exclaimed as he jumped onto the table and started dancing and singing the words.

_I'm too sexy for my love  
Too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me _

_I'm too sexy for my shirt  
Too sexy for my shirts  
So sexy it hurts _

_And I'm too sexy for Milan  
Too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan  
And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing_

Jeff sang as he tried to dance like a stripper.

"Take it off!" An extremely wasted Paparazzi Princess yelled.

Everyone glanced at her as she cheered for her boyfriend. Jeff slipped his shirt off before jumping off the table and walking over to Melina "seductively". Melina smirked as Jeff danced for her.

Everyone in the room laughed as they watched Jeff gyrate and grind on Melina. Melina cheered and giggled as Jeff took off his undershirt, revealing his bare chest. Just as Jeff moved his hands to unbutton the button on his jeans, Melina switched spots with him and started dancing for the Creature of the Night.

Torrie and Eve cheered for their friend as she teased her lover with her breasts. Melina finally took off her shirt before grabbing Jeff's hand for him to help her give a striptease with her.

Tiffany covered Christian and Evan's eyes as their eyes bulged at the sight of the couple, one for shock and terror, the other for boobies.

"Shawn! Shield your eyes!" Evan yelled as he hid his face in Kelly's shoulder. Shawn covered his eyes, unlike Hunter, who began to drool, before being slapped in the back of the head by Stephanie.

"Stop drooling over that!" Stephanie demanded.

The Game turned to his wife, "I-I-I" He stuttered, trying to find an excuse for drooling over Melina's boobs.

"Why were you drooling over that?" Stephanie yelled.

Hunter stuttered again. The same thing was happening over with Christian and Tiffany.

"Tiff, I wasn't staring at her!" Christian lied, Tiffany wasn't buying it.

"Whatever, just don't do it again!" Tiffany yelled.

"Guys…" Candice started, but the arguing kept going. "GUYS!" she yelled.

Everyone turned to her, "Do you hear that?" The Go-Daddy model asked; everyone stayed silent.

"I don't hear a-" Shawn stopped when he heard moaning coming from upstairs. Everyone turned to the table to see that Melina and Jeff had disappeared.

"Oh god, they better not be in my bed room." Matt groaned.

"You don't think they're-?" Maria asked her Boston-native boyfriend.

"They are." John chuckled; Maria's eyes bulged out.

"Tor, I think you put a LITTLE too much rum in the egg nog." Tiffany said to the Boise Belle.

Torrie giggled, "I just wanted to make tonight a little more interesting." She said with a shrug.


End file.
